Tag Archives: jennifer aniston

Jennifer Aniston Has Quit Smoking Cigarettes

Alright, I’m the first one to admit that it’s really hard to keep this celebrity shit straight. Obviously, none of them want to be caught with a cigarette in their mouth, because it doesn’t sell movie tickets, and exposes them to all sorts of abuse by hypocrites with a different agenda.

Jennifer Aniston Not Smoking

Jennifer Aniston Not Smoking

So has Jennifer Aniston quit smoking cigarettes, or what? The thing is, there have been reports that she has flushed cigarettes and caffeine out of her diet with the help of her friend and personal trainer, and replaced it with exercise and whatever else. Maybe fruits.

Let me tell you something. As an ex-smoker myself, I can tell you that dropping not one, but two highly addictive habits at the same time is a recipe for disaster, or immediate and lasting success, depending on your own character. Let’s see how that goes with Filly Jenny. I predict a crash and burn, preceded by some sort of personal or professional lashing out.

The bottom line is that as much as Jennifer Aniston would love us to believe she’s kicked the habit, I won’t believe it unless it comes out of the horses’ mouth. It’s too easy to start a rumor that you never have to deny, and never have to face the music, i.e. her fans, when the truth comes out about her miserable failure at quitting smoking cigarettes. Let her have a press conference and announce it loud and clear for all her adoring fans to hear. Then we’ll know the full story.

Unless Jennifer Aniston is lying to us.

Jennifer Aniston Smoking Cigarettes

UPDATE 6/26/2011 Here’s another picture of Jennifer Aniston smoking a cigarette, but this one is much more recent and Jennifer looks infinitely better in it. Of course she’s still smoking a cigarette, but at least she’s hot rather than homely.

Jennifer Aniston Still Smoking Cigarettes

Jennifer Aniston Still Smoking Cigarettes

Dear Jennifer,

Are you aware that lung cancer is by far the most dangerous type of cancer for women, and that each year over 70,000 women die from it each year? It even edges out breast cancer, despite all the publicity. While it is certainly your right to pollute your body with any substance you see fit, including cigarettes, you should be aware of the millions of young girls and women who watch you adoringly and will try to do anything their role-model does.

Jennifer Aniston Smoking Cigarettes

Jennifer Aniston Smoking Cigarettes

Moreover, smoking cigarettes really look stupid. Do you really think you look attractive in that picture? All you need to complete this picture is a mesh hat and the keys to a manure-filled pickup truck. Do yourself – and your countless fans – a huge favor by trying to quit smoking before your skin wrinkles and you look like a disgurtingĀ old prune.